10 Signs You’re Settling (Not Trusting God) in Your Dating Life

When you stop believing God can (and will) write a beautiful love story for you, you start editing it yourself. These signs may help you check your heart and your trust.

1. You’re Constantly Making Excuses for Him

You explain away his inconsistency, lack of spiritual depth, or dismissive attitude. You tell yourself, “He just needs time,” or “He’s been through a lot.”. But when you have to defend his behaviour more than you celebrate his character, you're not building on truth, you’re covering it up.

2. You’re Afraid to Bring Him Around People Who Know You Spiritually

You dodge the invite and avoid the conversation. Because you know that those who see you clearly, and love you deeply, might see what you’re trying to ignore. If he can’t pass the peace test with your spiritual circle, it’s worth a second look.

3. You Don’t Feel Safe Being Fully Yourself

You edit your thoughts and even withhold your truth. You’re cautious because you don’t feel emotionally safe. Love that requires you to shrink is not love, it’s a form of emotional erasure.

4. You’re Ignoring Red Flags You Wouldn’t Tolerate in a Friend

If your best friend ghosted you for days, dismissed your concerns, or made cutting jokes at your expense, you’d confront it. But in dating, you call it tension. Don’t give romantic relationships a pass on standards that are basic for any healthy connection.

5. You Feel More Anxious Than At Peace

Instead of calm, you feel tension, second-guessing, and emotional highs and lows. You spend more time wondering if you're enough than feeling safe in who you are. God’s presence brings peace. And His path usually does, too.

6. You’re Lowering Standards You Once Prayed For

You used to pray for a man who was faithful, emotionally mature, and led with integrity. Now you’re praying he’ll simply text back consistently or be “more open.” Compromise can sneak in disguised as “understanding.” Be careful.

7. You Keep Saying, “He’s Not Perfect, But…”

Of course no one’s perfect. But when you repeatedly start sentences with, “He’s not perfect, but…”  it’s often a sign you’re aware of gaps you're trying to spiritually gloss over. Grace is good. But grace is not blindness.

8. You Stay Because You Don’t Want to Start Over

You've invested time. You've imagined the future. The idea of going back to square one feels exhausting. But fear of starting over is not a good enough reason to stay. Trust that letting go won’t leave you empty, God never removes without the intention to restore.

9. You Can’t See a Clear Future, But You’re Still Holding On

The future feels murky. Conversations about marriage, faith, or life vision leave you unsettled. But instead of addressing the misalignment, you push it down. If clarity is absent, confusion will fill the gap, and love can’t thrive in confusion.

10. You Haven’t Prayed About It Honestly in a While

You used to seek God about it. Now you avoid the topic altogether in prayer. Maybe it’s because deep down, you already sense His answer, and you’re not ready to face it. But the peace you want will only come when you lay it at His feet again, honestly.

Settling is not always about lowering your standards. Sometimes, it’s about lowering your faith .The God who made your heart knows exactly what it needs, and He’s not withholding. Wait well. Trust fully. Love rightly.